a bit scary
a quick little watercolor illustration of my sister and I being scared by the haunted candy basket on All Hallows Eve!
All Hallows Eve and All Saints Day (the days of Halloween) are upon us, and just like the creepy thrills of the season, my journey in writing and painting a book is now spooking me. I always knew the process would be challenging, but I expected it to be something other than monstrous. I thought I would have a solid plan on how this story would be printed by now. I thought I could share some of the pages of my watercolor illustrations on my Instagram by now. Instead of enjoying my favorite time of year, I have been consumed with all things related to my book.
I have the weight of decisions hovering over me. Just like a heroine in a horror movie, I keep asking myself, which way do I turn so the monster doesn't trip me up? And, of course, in this case, the beast is of my own making, my book. Should I pitch literary agents or turn the corner and go down the path of self-publishing? Each direction comes with its own set of unknowns and possible pitfalls. Urgh! And don't even get me started on my artwork scans! I didn't like the first set of scans, so they had to be done over. On top of that, the scans needed retouching and some color correction, but alas, they are not done. It has been over a month and I still don't have them back. Why is this taking so long? Scary!
Can you tell I feel a bit overwhelmed? I wonder: do all writers feel like they've created a monster? Some creators call their projects "their baby," but this feels bigger. I do realize that one day my monster will be beautiful. And yes, I realize I need to keep reminding myself that this process is not a nightmare; it's just that I underestimated it. I just have to be patient and realize it will take longer than anticipated. Instead of being frightened, I need to become much more courageous and understand this journey will have unexpected twists and turns.
Every monster can be tamed with patience and perseverance. So, I'll embrace the chaos, knowing that every challenge brings me one step closer to my goal. After all, what's a little fear compared to the thrill of getting a story to life?
